The Boundary is in the Body
A Somatic Approach to Clear Boundaries
Dear Friends,
Today, I hope you’ve had a moment to take in the splendor of the summer solstice. This turning point on our calendar is a time of flourishing and abundance on our planet. The long light and high energy of this day serves as a kind of threshold between past and future. It’s a rite of passage of sorts.
At this seasonal doorway, we have an opportunity to gracefully let go of or set down what’s no longer needed in order to cultivate new possibilities for ourselves.
In this spirit, I share an Insight, Practice, and Offering.
Insight
The Irish poet John O'Donohue once described a blessing as "a circle of light drawn around a person to protect, heal, and strengthen."
In this way, I see blessings as a form of boundary, a way of creating and marking sacred space. Maybe a healthy boundary is more like ring of flowers, than a line in the sand. It simply demarcates space which is another word for emptiness which is another word for possibility. A healthy boundary can protect the not yet. It safeguards the possible.
For all of our contemplations on boundaries, we often neglect to acknowledge that boundaries cannot work without embodiment. Boundaries begin in the belly of the body, or what the Japanese call the hara, and the Chinese term the lower dantian.
When I drop my mind into my belly like stone into water, I find the space to discern and decide what's actually good for me. I can feel with my body what promotes growth and what stunts it.
This, not this.
Healthy boundaries allow us to reclaim our own sacredness so we can begin the work of protecting the sacred in the larger world. They enable us to protect the possible.
Practice
If you’ve ever had a strong “gut feeling,” you know that belly is one source of our intuition. The gut has its own nervous system called the enteric nervous system. This system lets us know when we’re safe and when there’s a potential threat. Unfortunately, the pace and stressors of modern life often blunt or numb our ability to receive messages from the gut or even trust its embodied way of knowing. The intention of this practice is to reconnect with the embodied wisdom of the belly as one tool for clarifying personal boundaries.
Find a quiet moment and clear space to sit for meditation and place your hands on your abdomen just below your navel. Close your eyes and breathe into your belly. Allow the belly to expand on the inhale and draw closer to the spine on the exhale. Through your mind’s eye, pour your weight into the pelvis. Allow it to be heavy and grounded.
As you breathe, imagine growing connection and communication between hands and the hara (the center.) Now check in with your gut. Is it telling you anything nonverbally? What is the quality and temperature of its energy? What emotions or sensations arise as you breathe into this area? What images, thoughts, or insights come to you? Sit with that for a moment.
Now take a large piece of blank paper and draw or trace a circle. Inside the circle, include words, images or symbols of aspects of your life you want to protect and keep sacred. Who and what belongs inside your sacred circle? The circle can include loved ones, vulnerable or new aspects of yourself, values, treasured objects, goals, projects etc. Everything you hold dear and dream of.
On the outside of the circle, place words, images, and symbols of things or beings that require more distance, separation, or differentiation. Who or what needs to step outside of your circle? Who or what do you need to let go of? Your list may include self-defeating beliefs, destructive habits, hurtful dynamics, unhelpful people, old ideas about yourself etc.
After you finish your sacred circle work, sit with it for a while. Write a reflection or share your work with a trusted friend. If possible, post your circle somewhere where you can see it frequently. Alternatively, take it out and review it every couple of days. Notice if this practice changes anything for you. Revise and repeat as needed.
Offering
I’m offering an opportunity to explore the concept of boundaries more deeply through somatic work and expressive arts. I’m happy to create a dedicated space for you to connect with the wisdom of the body-mind for the purpose of creating clear intentions and protective boundaries. Our session will be tailored to meet your needs and may include meditation, movement, art-making, and reflection. If this is something you’re curious about, don’t hesitate to contact me. Boundaries are so important. Any time and attention we can give to ourselves around this subject is bound to be helpful and strengthening. Please visit my website to schedule a time to work together.
In partnership and community,
Julie